The glass ceiling has been defined as “the unseen, yet unbreachable barrier that keeps minorities and women from rising to the upper rungs of the corporate ladder, regardless of their qualifications or achievements.” (thanks wikipedia). And while we’ve seen many strives in diminishing this barrier with some success, it’s still a prevalent issue in our society today. Now over the past few years I’ve come to have my definition for the glass ceiling.
There’s not many things more frustrating than seeing something right in front of your eyes and not being able to grasp and enjoy it. I think about how when I was younger I’d be at the park with my friends and the ice cream truck came around. My brain was running on pure bliss faster than my legs were when trying to catch up with the truck before every other kid gets there. All the options were laid out in front of me and ready to be taken advantaged of. The scrambling for money could either be exciting as I decide between a Strawberry Shortcake Bar and Bomb Pop or drastically demoralizing when I realize I have no funds. I admit now when I see kids have no money in this situation and either look utterly confused or on the verge of crying, it’s funny in a cute but sad way. But when I endured that pain in that moment of my life, nothing was fun about. I hated that feeling more than anything in the world. To know everything I wanted at the moment was merely a freezer away and I couldn’t get it was heart-breaking, but eventually I got over it (didn’t have a choice but to). Fast forward some 20 odd years later and I still experience the same heart-break but for different reasons.
I love my life. I try to not take for granted everything I can do with it. With all that said, I want and need more out of it now. I want a job because I need money. I want money because I need to pay bills and debts off. I want more money because I need to start saving for future expenses. I want my career to start because I need to be productive with my life that I love. I want my career to start because I need to know the work I did to obtain my degree in Marketing wasn’t in vain. I want to be as humble and appreciative of a person I can be, but need to be more selfish about getting things that’s essential to me. I want to become even closer to God because I NEED him more than anything now. I want my needs to be satisfied because being content with life is dangerous to me. Just being ok with things scares me more and more the older I get because it’s a quick way into falling for complacency. Many times in my life I found myself just settling for certain things because it met my needs despite the fact I wanted more. I understood that sometimes I didn’t always need the biggest and brightest toy but just wanted it. I had to learn a clear understanding between my wants and needs. But at the same time I had to learn to not just be satisfied with being just ok in life. I had to appreciate the house I have over my head while desiring to have one for myself. I had to appreciate the fact I can see the glass ceiling but maintain the desire to break through it.
It’s funny how the older I get, the more I notice things in my childhood aren’t that much different from what I experience now. My desire to catch up with the ice cream truck isn’t that much different from me wanting a job now. I wanted ice cream like every other kid who heard the jingle blasting from the truck’s speaker and chased after it. I want and need a job like millions of others in this country and constantly on the job hunt with them. Instead of scouring through my pockets for money, I’m searching through indeed.com and other job boards while applying for jobs. I’m striving for something I see that’s in front of me but haven’t quite gotten in my grasp. I still have a desire to be on the other side of the glass ceiling I keep staring at. Sometimes I see people who’ve had so much success only to watch them fall from grace. I wonder how that fall feels, only because I admire the fact they were at a position high enough to fall from. I think to myself what I would do to prevent such a fall, only to wonder if I would be just happy enough to be able to fall. At this point I’m already over-thinking (as usual) which leads to another question about which do I find more enjoyable: the struggling climb towards the glass ceiling or the fall to complacency after breaking the glass ceiling?
I want to be successful because I need to take advantage of what I’ve been given. I want to break the glass ceiling because I need to reach my full potential. I need to know that the scars I’ve endured only made me stronger and prepared me for the cuts I’ll get once I do break through the glass ceiling.
This was stuck in my head while typing this: